At one point we were looking like we might be contenders in the field of music production. Everything we were doing sounded pretty well, work like this with Plan B was putting us on the radar of a few production management companies.
When something sounds pretty well but you haven’t yet put a face to the work, you can be forgiven for thinking there might be something there worth investing in.
Giles had taken a number of calls from London based management companies, so it was agreed and set up that him and I would travel down there and have a few meetings.
LESSON 1- Send the good looking American. Don’t send yourself with your Lancashire accent. Don’t send the guy with no teeth. They will NOT respect you.
We met at Piccadilly Station in Manchester, had a pint and then went to buy a ticket to London. Faced with a choice between the more direct Virgin line and the more meandering Midland Mainline service we opted for the latter, as they sold bottles of Bitburger. The four and a half hour journey time gave us extra time to enjoy that.
LESSON 2- You keep forgetting to learn this lesson. Don’t show up pissed at critical life moments of any description. It may seem like it went okay, but invariably it didn’t.
We were confident but inelegant by the time we arrived, swearing more than would be considered professional and sweating more than would be considered attractive or acceptable. The lady who’d been tasked with meeting us at ‘Management Company 1’ was very polite and soldiered on with the interview sportingly. She asked questions of us, genuinely interested as to how two oafs like ourselves could be capable of what we assured we were. Probably the main selling point we kept giving her over and over again was ‘We’re WELL cheap’. We also said ‘We can work for fuck all’, ‘We can make albums really cheap’, ‘Honestly, we do them for nothing’ etc etc.
LESSON 3 (Today’s most important lesson)- You will not attract a business partner who is interested in working for commission by repeatedly telling them how cheap you are, regardless of how novel and honest you think this is. You should generally avoid spreading rumours of how cheap you are within the business, it cannot serve you in anyway.
It didn’t work out but I have always since recommended the Midland Mainline Service.